Mending the Mind this Holiday Season

The “True Presence“ is the best present for Christmas.

I was talking with one of my adult daughters about this article and how I was going to talk about stress and the holidays. She pointed out that everyone always talks about deep breathing, calming down, having an “attitude of gratitude” and having realistic expectations for holiday parties. We tend to think we can fix all of our family’s past issues in one joyous Christmas celebration, or that we want to avoid that one annoying relative who manages to say something awful or awkward every year.

But what she wanted me to talk about was not the pressure of finding the right gift for everyone or the right Christmas menu. Instead, she reminded me that Christmas is about listening, loving and being compassionately interested in the other person. We should be able to hear something new as they share their story. Christmas is about being attuned enough to accompany them on their journey of the past year rather than centering everything on yourself.  “Mom,” she said, “it needs to be about relationship, about being true and real to yourself and others.”  

Yes, even to Uncle Bob or Aunt Betty who in the past have been really annoying.  

Pope Leo has spoken frequently about being truly present and genuine in relationships with others in Christ. As God is our Emmanuel, God is truly present for us. We can model this for our family by choosing to focus on them, rather than how we feel, what we think or what we want in the moment.

He has stated that “our Catholic faith invites us to compassionate action and genuine human encounters as God does that, being a true present with our presence, with us this Christmas. Instead of just sharing stuff with others, we share our genuine self as we listen, love and desire to bring out the good, truth and beauty God desires us to encounter in others as we use his lens and eyes to see them.“

Pope Leo XIV spells it out more clearly that being present means:

• Seeing Christ in others.
• Being “attuned”- tuning into our family members who are hurting.
• Getting involved and investing our whole selves in others’ stories.
• Communicating love and true fraternity and peace.
• Imitating Christ’s compassionate, genuine heart, listening in love.
• Walking with humility and meekness to hear and encounter others with Christ’s presence in us.

This Christmas, we can decide to change our perspective on what could be the greatest gift of all, if we are willing to risk it.

By being truly present, offering our genuine listening and love, we reflect the heart of Christ. Emmanuel, God is with all of us.

By Barb Graham, Catholic Charities Mental Health Clinical Supervisor